Watersports extravaganza

 

For our last day on Bali I wanted to give Kris experience of parasailing. Since it came in a package, we also got more watersports. We had a confirmed our early pick up at 8 AM for today from a local firm to go to Nusa Dua for couple hours of fun in the water for an internet price of 650,000 rupees ($71) for two. This included one lap parasailing, a 15 minute ride on a banana boat and a 15 minute wakeboarding session.

Upon arriving at the base, they promptly attempted to rip us off by trying to charge us 650,000 per person. It took a bit of explaining that it was a total rate, then a quick suggestion that we’d get up and walk to the next base 10 meters down if they didn’t honor the price, for the guy to start saying “Solee boss, my mistake. I thought this per person rate. Solee, you get good deal”. Right… several minutes later I still had to remind him to give me back my change which he… forgot. You gotto keep your eyes on the money here at all times.

Parasailing was first. I’ve done it before, a decade ago in Hawaii, but it was a new experience for Kris. The ride was short. Too short honestly, lasting a mere few minutes. You get strapped to a parachute and then to a rope which the other end is tied to a boat. The boat starts running and so do you, and then oopsie and you’re up in the air about 30 or 40 meters. There isn’t much steering involved, only pulling on one side of the parachute strings when you’re landing. Fun, very fun, although if you have a fear of heights (or a fear of falling as Kris describes it) it could be a slightly jarring experience. Just keep in mind you’re completely safe and even if the rope got unclipped from the boat, you’d still have a parachute over your head and land safely on the ground.

  

  

Our parasailing adventure. Great if a bit short though.

Banana boat was next. It is basically an inflated raft, shaped like a banana which is pulled by a speedboat. You sit on it, hold on to a strap and try not to fall off. They actually asked us if we wanted to fall off or not. Kris wasn’t too much into it, so we decided on just one dunk. I mean, let’s at least try it. For all the screaming that you sometimes hear coming from these, the ride was very easy and comfortable. It’s pretty difficult to fall off, unless they’re taking turns and trying to throw you off on purpose. Although getting up on it in mid-water is a whole different ballgame. The raft is quite high, round and slippery and with no footing underneath, it’s a bit of a challenge.

For our wakeboarding session, we were joined by three Kiwis on a holiday. Hannah was celebrating her 19th birthday today and was also the only one with previous experience with wakeboarding which showed immediately as she stood up without a problem and did three perfectly clean and long runs. It was my turn next, and to make a long story short, my wakeboarding experience ended pretty much the same as my surfing experience. I’m still too heavy and together with my balance problems I was tipping the board forward making getting up nearly impossible. I did get up, only to fall down immediately. Although at least I wasn’t in pain as during the surfing lesson. Kris didn’t fare much better this time although for a slightly different reason. She just wasn’t strong enough to pull herself up. Still, for both of us it was an awesome experience and we enjoyed it immensely. Given the opportunity, we’ll definitely try again.

After being dropped off at Kuta Beach, we had our sights set on lunch, then a sunbathing session. Unfortunately there was a monkey wrench thrown in our gears that had the potential to destroy our day and moods. Fortunately it didn’t completely ruin it. We were approached on the street by a local guy handing out scratch cards to see if you win a prize. Of course they were free, of course everybody won something and there was a potential to win a thousand dollars or a week holiday in Bali. The catch was: you just had to listen to a short presentation about their resort and then you’d get free lunch, free taxi home, free t-shirts and your prize. Where have I heard this before? It sounded so much like time-share sales pitch. Free this, this, this and that if you only come in and listen to our bullshit pitch. Kris was suspicious too believing in “What sounds too good, must be too good” but I guess the draw of the potential money prize was too high. I also figured, oh what the hell. We’ll get the hell out of dodge if it is a time-share sales pitch. So we went with our happy hawker who immediately started to tell us what to say: both of us are living in the US now, Kris is actually 10 years older than she really is, we should not show our passports, etc. By now this really smelled like a time-share sales pitch, as they usually approach couples who are over thirty and look like they have money. We arrived at the location, which looked a little bit like a warehouse, and we welcomed by… a slick haired used car salesman lookalike Wayne from Vancouver, Canada. At this moment, this moment exactly I knew this was a waste of time, but since we came here already, we might as well stay here for the next few minutes to get our free ride home and lunch. And of course it began: vacation club, blah blah blah, great idea, blah blah blah, equity blah blah blah. It is pretty difficult to follow American salesmen with interest for me, because after twenty years of listening to their whiny, lying bullshit, my first reaction is to strangle them. But anyways, after doing some surveys about our travel habits and the sales pitch getting long, I basically cut him off saying “Sorry mate, not interested. You’re selling timeshares”. Mr. Interested In Everything We Had To Say disappeared that moment leading us out the door to the reception. Of course the prize turned out to be bullshit. Kris won a fabulous booklet of vouchers worth a whopping $500. Considering all these vouchers were 10-20 per cent discounts in local shops, it is completely worthless. I’m normally able to bet a better discount myself. Our t-shirts turned out to be ugly advertising t-shirts for the company, our free lunch simply a 100,000 rupees voucher to the most expensive restaurant in Kuta and our taxi ride voucher had to be forced out of them by a threat of physical harm from me. They finally acquiesced and unwillingly handed us a 70,000 rupees voucher for a taxi.

Before heading to the beach we checked out the restaurant which was of course ridiculously priced (4* hotel restaurant on the beach: what did we expect). Fortunately there was a slight fortunate catch: the vouchers were also redeemable in the local minimart. Despite being very pricey, the voucher did produce two large beers and ice cream for us plus a couple pot pies which we pitched in for by ourselves. Kuta beach was heaven, strong sun, strong surf, soft wind, tanned bodies all around. We looked a bit out of place being well… maybe not pasty white, since we’ve been getting browner and browner for the past 4 weeks, but let’s say we were among the whitest there. Few hours later it was time to head home. Kris was wiped, so before catching our taxi to Sanur, we stopped for a treat in Starbucks. A double shot caramel frappuccino is as good in Kuta Beach as it is in Warsaw or Seattle.

Leaving tomorrow morning, we still had a few rupees left to spend, so another dinner at our favorite place and picking up some spices to take home from a local mini-mart occupied our evening hours. Happy with Bali, unhappy we were leaving tomorrow morning.

Let there be mantas

 

This day we were heading to Padang Bai for another day of diving with Waterworx Dive Center. This meant an extra early wake up and breakfast at 6:30 AM. I should’ve expected a bit of morning crankiness from Kris and I wasn’t disappointed. Our driver showed up at seven sharp and the short way to Padang Bai (no traffic on Sunday so it took less than an hour) was spent merrily snoozing in the car.

Our first dive of the day took us around the island of Nusa Penida. Manta Point is a small closed bay enclosed by rocky cliffs. The visibility is low due to waves and surf bringing up sediment from the bottom. Depth here is about 10 meters and there is not much interesting local sea life to see. So what exactly is the attraction of expensive diving in such a place? A cleaning station for manta rays. Sort of an underwater carwash, or rather a fishwash, where big fish come up to be cleaned by little fish. And this place is so predictable, that mantas are present on ninety per cent of the dives. When we descended below surface we just basically hung out at about 10 meters hovering over the surface or in mid water waiting for the big fish. And they didn’t disappoint! It only took about a minute before we spotted our first manta ray of the day. Not a huge one, perhaps only 2 meters across, majestically gliding over the coral, hovering while the little fish did their jobs, then swimming away into the big blue. And another, and another. During the dive we changed our position a couple of times, but stayed within the same area, perhaps the size of a big garden or so. Oh the pity we did not take our underwater camera with us, but here is a link to our dive buddies, Stefan and Nina’s, blog from last year, which contains a lot of manta ray photos from exactly this dive site.

Nina and Stefan's blog - Mantas

After forty minutes or so it was time to get back on board and change our location to Crystal Bay located between Nusa Penida and Nusa Lembongan. On arrival there we were served lunch, still slightly warm, consisting of a variety of delicious stuff: rice, shredded spicy chicken, fried tofu, samosas, fried fish, roasted coconut and two different salads. A type of Indonesian bento box. An hour surface interval and it was back into water for Kris’s most challenging dive to date. Because Crystal Bay is located between two islands and there is nothing further down until Australia, it has very strong sea currents and rather chilly water. Well… when they told us 20-22 Celsius I figured cold, but in fact my dive computer registered a temperature of 25 degrees. So not so cold after all. This is a place to go spotting for Mola Mola. Gigantic fish that look like head with fins. Unfortunately luck wasn’t with us this time, molas not being in season, and we did not see one. But the dive site is still great with lots of interesting small and medium stuff to be seen. And lucky for us, Kris got to see her first shark: a woebegone shark. Funny stuff is, she did not realize this was a shark, until I told her on the boat after the dive, and then got quite excited about checking off a sighting of another underwater species. Woebegone looks a bit like a big catfish and is very docile, so no surprising the missus didn’t think it was a shark.

We popped back on the boat and headed back to Panag Bai for our transfer. Some final formalities: logbooks, paying and we were on our merry but tired way back to Sanur. Diving here was quite expensive for me, though a fellow diver from Australia was going on how cheap it was. A package of 4 dives for two people with equipment rental and transfers cost us $440, which comes out to $55 per dive. From my experience diving $20-$35 was rather standard in a package, but apparently this is by no means the most expensive place to dive on Earth.

We were back in Sanur before 4 PM so with still some time left headed to our local beach and souvenir market. Didn’t get much sun as the shadows were already getting pretty long, only about an hour’s worth. We did do our souvenir shopping, though mostly at a store, not at the shops at the beach. There was only one tired looking guy selling jewelry who seemed to just be happy to sell anything, so we were able to bargain a good price on some trinkets. Others, perhaps due to prime location at the beach, stuck to their inflated prices and didn’t seem interested in haggling. Ten to twenty per cent was all you could haggle down with lame excuses like telling us that the price they bought the product was only 50 cents lower than the final price they were offering. Right… and the same product at the store we finally bought it had a lower opening price. Moral of the story: NEVER buy into the stories of sellers. They will try to woo you and swoon you with their said stories, at the same time trying to rip you off. From my time in Egypt I learned that you should bargain any price down at least fifty per cent (except in more regular stores). If you’re good, more. On one occasion , I bargained a lapis lazuli cat (semi precious stone) down from $100 to $7. But that’s rare.

Kite flying is a popular sport in Sanur

On the way back from the beach we stopped once again at The Cameng for some food. This place has turned out to be our regular eating spot. We didn’t even want to try anything else. Food is so nicely presented and so yummy: why would you?

Road tripping

 

A break was needed in the middle of four days of watersports. A sharp departure was provided by a day long Bali road trip, which we arranged through the hotel with the driver who brought us from the airport, Jaga. On the first day we we approached on the beach by several other drivers/guides offering us similar services, but we figured we’ll go with someone we already know, with an added security that he was under contract from the hotel. The price 450,000 rupiah (about $50 at the time of writing) covered 10 hours of his time, all petrol, parking fees and all the entrances except for the most expensive Barong dance. For the money pinchers, you can bargain the price down on a beach to 300,000 but keep in mind that you’ll have to pay all the parking and entrance fees which will add up to about 100,000 extra for two people. And save our first full day, we also had the luxury of not having to wake up so early as he was to pick us up at 9 in the morning. So we lounged a bit before breakfast and after, and then we hit the road.

From the beginning it was to be an interesting trip, as it turned out that Jaga barely spoke English. Somehow we didn’t catch that fact on the way from the airport. We went to see a traditional Balinese Barong dance first. Saying dance doesn’t really do it justice. It’s actually a theatrical play with music, portraying a meeting between some government officials who are accosted in the forest by an evil spirit and then a great fight ensues. Quoting the missus “a surreal experience”. Despite a program written in really bad English, for the most part you have absolutely no bloody idea what is going on. Some strange creatures clicking their jaws, strange women doing stranger things with their eyes, man with their faces painted doing weird dancing, even a moment where it looked like a guy was masturbating a monkey with something coming out of… you get the jist. It turned out that it was the monkey’s tail, and the watery substance was supposed to be its blood. Surreal, yes. Funny, yes. Worth seeing: absolutely.

A traditional Balinese painting in the process of being made.
Claimed time to finish: 3 months.
Opening asking price 30 million rupees ($3300) for a finished piece.

From there things got a bit irritating, fortunately for a while. In a traditional Turkish/Egyptian style, we spent the next hour and a half being taken to see “traditional Balinese art” in the form of a: silver shop, a painting shop and a woodcarver shop. I appreciate the arts and all, but since we’re already paying the driver above the market rate for the day trip, he could’ve at least saved us the overpriced tourist traps. Silver shop: bloody hell! Upon entrance you are greeted with: “Special for you our friend. Today only, special discount, everything 80% off.” Sounds good right? Well… if not that a simple silver bangle at a normal price was $330!!! Even with a discount that was $66. Now, I’m not an expert on jewelry, but it seems a bit pricey considering there is actually no artwork that goes into making one. Nice intricate earrings… don’t even bother. The missus who is a great fan of jewelry just turned around on her heel and left. Same story repeated in the painting shop and a woodcarver shop. The thing is, there were hundreds of those around, but we got a feeling that we were taken to the priciest tourist ones. High prices including a hefty kickback to the driver. Sorry Bob. Such tricks don’t work with us.

We were slightly irritated at this point as we headed to the monkey forest located in Ubud, the cultural capital in Bali. Now, this would be a fun part for most people, except that I absolutely hate monkeys. Dirty, filthy, ugly creatures. Makes me want to put a baseball bat to their heads. Or eat fresh monkey brains, Singapore style. Still, a beautiful temple complex surrounded by a lush forest has a tendency to calm the nerves.

With moods still a bit dark, we insisted on break for lunch. Jaga insisted half the way that we eat later and an “all you can eat buffet” for a “very good price”. Trying to explain that we are trying to count the calories because we’re big was like talking to a wall. “Oh Bart, you big. You eat a lot. Good price for you. You eat more”. Looking daggers at him finally worked so we went to eat something locally. Babi gulling, a suckling pig, was recommended by him on the way from the airport, and that’s just what we went for. Yum! Any guilty conscience of eating a baby pig torn from its mother’s teet disappeared the moment I sank my teeth into it’s tender juicy flesh. Hey, I, a Homo Sapiens, am after all the apex predator, right?

Time was passing quickly, so we charged on. The next stop, rice terraces. Something that we meant to see in the Philippines, but didn’t due to awful typhoon floods. Amazing views which you can judge for yourselves below. We didn’t go trekking due to lack of time and energy, but given time do so.

    

Next stop, a coffee and cocoa plantation. A garden mostly filled with mandarin trees (which we got a fill of), with on occasional coffee and cocoa tree. Here finally Jaga showed off some of his guiding skills showing us a variety of fruits and plants and doing his best to explain their purpose. This is also a place where I stepped in horse shit, a natural fertilizer used by farms. And a place where we finally got to try really shitty coffee, Kopi Luwak. For those who missed the pun, Kopi Luwak, is world’s most expensive coffee, fetching prices of $400-$1000 per kilo. It is harvested from… civette shit. What the hell is a civette and why is coffee in its shit you might ask. Civettes live on coffee farms where they freely climb the trees and pick only the tastiest coffee fruit (the bean still inside). They digest the fruit, while the bean goes undigested through them. Undigested, but not unchanged. The gastric juices of the civette (tree cat by the way), soften the coffee bean, stripping it of much of its original bitterness and acidity. The excrement is then picked up by the farmers, washed with cold and hot water to leave the beans clean (I hope), then dried, roasted and voila! You got Kopi Luwak. For 50,000 rupees $6) you get to try a cup. And I must say: yum, earthy, musky, and all the other adjectives used by commercials. Still… I’m not sure I’m willing to pay $25 for a 60 gram bag enough for six coffees.

This has got to be the best picture that my budding photographer wife has ever taken of me. I just gotto Photoshop the coffee grinds from my nose. Thanks hon.

 

Enjoying Kopi Luwak

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time running out we headed to see the Bali volcano. Mist surrounding it gave it a surreal look, like something out of a Tolkien novel, but then again made it damn difficult to get our tourist shots in. We headed back with our final stop being a Hindu temple in Denpasar. A quiet time, all ceremonies over we checked out something that looked a bit like a market after closing. Plastic stalls, chairs and beach mats placed all around, with an occasional rice offerings thrown around. But hey, I got to play some musical instruments for free too.

We got back to our hotel around 7 PM. A day well spent, although we weren’t so certain of it at the beginning. Jaga turned out to be a nice guy as we initially took him for, if a bit samey like other hawkers on the street. Another meal at of favorite restaurant The Cameng closed out the night nicely.

Underwater history and a land of smiles

 

Our rest days are coming to an end with earlier and earlier wake ups. Yesterday I was able to convince Wolfgang of Waterworx Diving to give us an extra 15 minutes to have our breakfast before we were picked up to go diving at 7:15 in the morning. Why so early you might ask? USS Liberty is located off Tulamben which is some good 3 hours from Sanur. The road was partly spent snoozing in the car, at least until we got to Padang Bai where the dive center is located. We picked up our equipment there and there headed off further north to Tulamben. Waterworx Diving was recommended to us by Stefan and Nina, our German dive buddies from Sabang Beach. In fact all of diving here in Bali is bloody expensive, partially due to the distances (3 hours by car to Tulamben, 1 hour by car plus 1 hour by boat to Nusa Pendida). Probably due to other “Indonesian-specific” factors too. Everything seems to be quite expensive here, save the food.

We arrived in Tulamben at around 10 and prepared for our first dive immediately. We got 5mm wetsuits from Waterworx. This was the first time in life, despite hundreds and hundreds of dives behind my belt, that I got to dive in such a thick, brand new suit. And it was the first time in my life that I needed to tack on 10kg worth of weights to comfortably go down. The buoyancy of this thing is incredible (well… so is the buoyancy of my belly fat). Getting into water was fun to begin with. It was Krysia’s first challenging shore entry. Big pebbled beach, strong surf, big waves. Hard not to trip and break your legs. Our first dive took us around the wreck, exploring 50 years of coral and sponge growth on it. Our divemaster, Komang, spotted one potato grouper, but this dive was about the wreck itself and seeing nature at work, rather than any big stuff. Liberty is huge, 120 meters long, broken up into pieces, first by Japanese torpedoes in 1945, then by a volcanic eruption that pushed it off to sea in 1963. Getting out of the water was much easier.

An hour surface interval resulted in a mediocre lunch during which I once again netted a soup. I’m getting a bit tired of this game. I order rice, nasi, and I get rice flooded with salty water. Come on people! At least I was able to find a store with some rice chips and chocolates for the ride back. After lunch it was back in the water for the second dive when we got to explore the inside of the wreck. Well… inside is saying a bit much. As I wrote, the wreck is completely broken up, so there are no enclosed spaces besides the engine room, which we didn’t explore due to Krysia’s inexperience. Giant clams, nudibranches and bunch of other small stuff that can excite the beginner diver. I was just enjoying the view of the wreck. Sadly I can’t post any underwater photos due to lack of underwater camera this time, but check out Tulamben dive site on google to get the idea what you can see there.

We headed back the same winding road that we came and got to be stuck in traffic because of preparations for Indonesian independence day. And once again the smiling faces were everywhere. You stick your head outside of the car window and you hear a chorus of hellos and Good Day. Balinese can be truly wonderful people if they are not trying to hussle you into buying their trinkets. Truly a wonderful journey. We got back after 7 PM.

Happy smiles on a scooter

While chewing your own fingers

Check out the girls in the upper left corner modeling for the white boy

And the boys doing “I love Heavy Metal” instead of “Hang Ten”

Smile for the camera cutie

Back in Sanur, we checked out the restaurant next door for the nicest presentation meal in Bali yet. True, it was mie goreng and nasi goreng again, but both the flavors and presentation were worth every penny. Okay, it’s not the most exciting of all meals, but what the hell: WE LOVE FRIED NOODLES AND RICE!

    

Mie goreng                                           Nasi goreng

Catching waves

 

One relaxing day has a tendency to lead into another. After our lovely American breakfast (it’s not that often you get pork here, so gotto have me some bacon) and morning routine, I went around looking for transport to Kuta beach. 11:45 was still ways away so with full agreement from the missus, we decided to take advantage of the sun and the hotel pool to get in some sun time as well as some water time. I am a quick burner but slow tanner, and since our sun opportunities are quickly ending on this honeymoon it was high time to get brown for our post-honeymoon wedding photo shoot. Couple hours in the sun was just what the doctor ordered. In the meantime I got an answer from Odysseys Surfing School in Kuta and they would pick us up for our lesson at 2PM today. Fantastic. No need to rush, no need worry.

Becoming masters of the waves sounded like such a good idea before the honeymoon. The pictures of Big Kahuna coming to mind, surfing films like Point Break bringing images to my mind of my hair flapping in the wind as I’m carving the top of the wave, going through a crashing tunnel, doing twist and turns. But first we were deposited at the school and with more than an hour before the lesson, we went to the beach. Kuta beach is wonderfully large with beautiful sand and crashing waves. Toned beach bodies abound, including the types that shouldn’t really be there. Krysia wasn’t too happy to be in a close proximity of a lobster colored gigolo in his 50s, in lovely skin tight orange speedos trying to expose his family jewels to all the passing girls. It’s all part of the fun girl. Sitting on the beach I was surprised how different it was from being advertised. Perhaps it’s the lack of tourists due to European crisis and Ramadan, but the beach is much nicer, cleaner and less crowded than we thought. Not that I’ve regrets about booking our oasis of tranquility in Sanur: our hotel is absolutely phenomenal, but I think given time, we’ll try to make it out here for one more day. Kuta beach reminds me very much of Waikiki beach in Hawaii, perhaps due to the presence of surfers, or maybe it’s the sand or the crashing waves. To sum up: it’s nice. Come and visit.

Our surfing lesson began innocently and fun enough. On dry land, learning how to lie on the board, how to paddle and finally: how to stand up. Piece of cake, right? It is while the board is firmly pressed into soft sand. “Are you regular of goofy?” was the question referring to our surfing stance. How the hell should I know? I chose regular, which perhaps was my first mistake. The next two and a half hours were a harrowing exercise in pain, drinking gallons of salt water and frustration. For me that is, because Kris with her much better sense of balance, managed to get up and STAY UP quite a few times, including one full run to the shore. I didn’t manage a single clean run or in fact even staying up for more than a second. True, I almost got up a few times, only to fall overboard almost immediately. My legendary problems with balance were visible even when lying on the board. If I’m wobbly with my belly on the board, what can I expect with my feet down. One thing I learned very well though: always hang on to your board and have it to your side. One moment of frustration when I just threw the board in front of me, the sea gods took their revenge by sending a wave that immediately smacked the board right in my face and threw me in what the surfers call a “washer”, spinning around underwater.

With all of the above said, it was worth trying and still some fun. And it was nice to see wifey doing so well. I don’t know if I’ll try it again, not until I get much smaller. After the lesson I was so sore I could barely move my shoulders. One thing: I didn’t give up and took more tries than anyone on the beach. That was probably the source of my pain too, with my shoulders completely giving out on the last few runs. We headed back to Sanur for some much deserved dinner and beers. Couple days ago Jaga recommended Balinese fried duck to us, so dedek was on the plate. Not bad, although Bazyliszek in Warsaw does a much better one. But for all you duck lovers, give it a try.

Blissfully Bali blissful bliss

 

Nothing like a goodnight sleep in a football sized bed to make the missus happy. Though even for her the bed was just… too big. I thought I’d never hear these words in my life, but apparently there is a bed size limit for my wife. Bali king (roughly 2.5 meters across) is big enough to stretch Jesus-crucifixion style, or perhaps do the running man, and the other person still can lie blissfully unaware of the other person. An early morning swim for me in the lovely pool worked up quite an appetite and it was off to breakfast. Finally some real choice, good continental buffet, American or Indonesian breakfast. For perfection they should thrown in Irish with freshly baked scones and black and white pudding.

My early exploration yesterday paid off and we headed to a nice and cleaner part of the Sanur beach. The sand here is wonderful, it’s something between this fine white sand of the Caribbean and the gravel beaches of Mediterranean. Crashing out on a beach for a few hours trying not to get too baked was just what the doctor ordered. Although the sun’s directly overhead, the sea breeze is significant making for a perfect beach weather. Absolutely perfect for just lying there while sipping cold Bali Cider. Water’s the temperature of lukewarm soup, although I was told I shouldn’t expect that when diving. Apparently the sea currents bring in a lot of cold water and Tulamben dives can be around 20 Celsius. Brr… I guess it will be a long wetsuit for me.

We stayed on the beach until about 3pm, figured no use in getting well done on the first day here. Getting haggled on the beach wasn’t too bad here. Locals of course want your business, but it’s a bit more laid back. One guy, Komang, just sat with us on the beach, showed us his folder, where he could take us by car and what to show us and tried to wait us out until we made a decision. But we hung on tough. It’s the same in the stores: everyone wants you to look at their trinkets, but in the end, it isn’t so in your face like we got in the Philippines. A bit of “I give you nice price, low season yeah?” and then “Ok, you come back later then”.

Hotel welcomed us with a freshly made up room, mineral water and a nice, long, hot shower. No more problems with water pressure we had in the Phillies or the cold water showers in Malaysia. Water is boiling hot and comes at a pressure high enough to bore through an elephant’s ass. Of course being in such a nice hotel makes you a bit lazy, so we decided to dine in the hotel restaurant. I can’t say enough about Asian food. I’ve known and loved it for more than 20 years now, but being here again brings it a new dimension. Nasi goreng is lovely Malaysian style (with pungent seafood sauce and little dried mackerels) and Indonesian style with meat on top on a much milder sauce stirred in the fried rice. Even Kris is slowly starting to get used to fishy flavors. She’s scarfing the prawn crackers like there’s no tomorrow, and they’re more seafoody than the original sea cockroaches. Beer happy hour: three large beers for the price of two and a half proved a winner with us. Unfortunately alcohol is quite expensive here as in Malaysia (darn Muslim countries…) so any happy deal makes us happy alcoholics.

Crashing early seemed the right thing to do so after dinner and watching some Olympics (Go USA! Go Poland!) we drifted off into the dreamland.

The Dream of Relaxation coming true

Waking up for the final time in Kuala Lumpur is a great thing when the outlook says A WEEK IN BALI. Our Citin Hotel turned out a decent breakfast, finally a place where I didn’t have to eat cereal from a hamster-sized bowl. Since our flight was in the afternoon we had some time for last minute shopping: it’s become a tradition with us than on the day we leave, we see how much currency we have left after paying all our bills and transport and go try to spend it all. The haul today: two pairs of Alladin pants for me and the missus and some stuff for the house. Our backpacks are getting fatter everyday. The place: Sentral Market, where you can get everything your tourist heart desires. It was fortunate that there was a post office nearby and Krysia made a run to in, otherwise we’d be hand delivering our postcards a month from now.We took a bus directly from Puduraya to the LCC terminal at Kuala Lumpur International. The Low Cost Carrier Terminal is actually quite far from the main terminal, about 15 minutes by bus in case any of you travellers wonder if you’re being taken out into the bushes. It’s actually two airports with two separate runways. The LCCT is very well equipped with restaurants (we finally partook of Malaysian fast food MarryBrown which was basically a chicken join with Malaysian flavors), cafes (including Starbucks), shops, duty free (complete ripoff, prices at twice the Warsaw duty free level) and all the other standard amenities including free Wi-Fi which barely works (as everywhere else in Malaysia).

Although I'm not proud of it, we managed to spend our last ringgits on a box of donuts from Dunkin Donuts. Oh what the hell! We're both losing weight anyways. :)

We took off from this land at 15:45 local time on the next leg of our journey.

Bali. From the start I can just feel being more relaxed. The weather in the evening is a balmy 27 Celsius with just a slightest breeze. I booked a week-long package at Mentari Sanur Hotel which included a two-way airport transfer, so upon collecting our check-in luggage we looked for a guy with a sign. Krysia quickly spotted a guy standing with a sign saying “Mr. Bart & Krysia”. So far, a very good beginning. Jaga, our driver, turned out to be a very friendly fellow, who of course can arrange anything that we could want, from diving to white-water rafting, to a case of discounted beer. And of course if we need a driver during our stay, he’s our man. Of course it’s business, but somehow I got a good feeling about this.

Arriving at our hotel we were greeted with our welcome drink, a glass of mixed tropical juice with a lime decoration. I’m sure that Krysia will post a photo sooner or later. First impression of our hotel: tranquil setting, we have a room right by the pool, coconut palms and other trees growing on premises, geckos running on the walls, frogs jumping on the ground. Jungle paradise. Our room is very nice, maybe a bit run down. Lovely bathroom, HUGE bed (which hopefully means I will not be pushed off of it during the night), a fruit basket. All’s good in paradise.

So nice, we’re just enjoying our evening beer in the restaurant, chilling and updating our blog. Tomorrow: a lazy day. Beach, food, fun.

Jungle run

 We got to sleep in today, getting up almost at 8 am. With an afternoon departure to KL and only a jungle trek planned, we could afford to do so and we all know how much Kris likes her beauty sleep. And it was the first time since Japan when I had a really hot shower. Almost scalding, since I like extreme temperatures in general (I like my beer so cold it shatters the enamel on my teeth and my coffee so hot that it melts my intestinal tract). Breakfast was nothing to write home about. The famed KRS special turned out to be two badly scrambled eggs with pale toast, a lukewarm hot dog and a saucer worth of baked beans. But c'est la vie. We packed up to go on our trek, but wifey insisted on leaving her bag behind: she did carry more than me (surprise surprise), although to give her some credit, she was carrying our shampoo, my deodorant and my toothbrush.

Jungle boy ...

Our trek to Mt. Pachibumbum (I can’t actually remember the name of it…) began at around half past nine with weather calm, partly sunny: a perfect hiking weather. As already mentioned, Cameron Highlands enjoys a much different weather than the rest of Malaysia, due to its high altitude (at about 1000 meters above the sea level). The temperature was probably a balmy 25 Celsius with relatively low humidity and a nice breeze going on. Our hike took us through a rather rough terrain: moss covered tree roots, slippery rocks, mud, moss pits and probably my least favorite: wet clay, slippery as hell and a nightmare to get off your shoes and pants. Around us, a jungle, but a different type than experienced on Sabah. A mixed type of a forest with very occasional palm trees and more temperate type of trees, even with few conifers mixed in. We followed trail number 10 which was takes you to the top of the mountain, unfortunately it wasn't that well marked. Krysia seemed to remember the instructions from yesterday, but I didn't pay any attention (as usual) so at times it was a bit of a blind run: “Do we go left or right? You don't know? Why don't you know? Ok, lets go right. Why not? Well if you think we should go left than lets go left”. But after about three hours we were rewarded by reaching the top with magnificent views of the highlands.

... meets a jungle girl

What comes up must come down, and so did we. But contrary to the belief, the way down isn't always easier. With at least three paths we could follow (and later on another fork in the road to make it four) we chose one that seemed most downward. A logical assumption that it should be the quickest way down. Unfortunately it seems we chose a path used by water during seasonal floods, i.e. a river bed, filled with wet rocks and slippery clay, often with sharp drop-offs and meter deep holes. Once we were out of there, it was a path through bushes, tall grasses and short palm trees, ferns with thorns, a tangle of few hundred year old tree roots and sometimes what was worst: fallen trees too high to climb over with a 50 meter drop on one side, a vertical wall on the other and an opening underneath through which we literally had to crawl through. My honey wanted a jungle trek, well... she got a jungle trek. Although at one point when she slid down the path and was hanging ass down over a sharp drop hanging on to some roots I think even she thought “Darn, maybe I should've gone to Starbucks instead”. Finally we popped out of the jungle and into civilization a bit after 1 pm. It was still ways to go before we reached the main drag in Tanah Rata, but we were happy, satisfied and hungry (not to mention dirtier that shit shoveling stable boys).  


Finally at the top

Hunger was easily taken care of by returning to Kumar restaurant. And once again, Kris asked for “NOT spicy dish”. Truth be told, I though that lamb with cashews curry was quite mild, but her tongue was still burning. But their naans and tandoori meats are simply phenomenal and quite beyond description. De-lip smacking-licious! And halfway through our honeymoon, the probiotics Kris is taking are working beautifully. She hasn't had a single major belly problem yet. Yesterday she asked me innocently “Do you really think it's the probiotics that are helping me?” and I though of all the instances when even in Western Europe she can get a Delhi belly from eating eggs, fruits or in fact anything. Yes! Probiotics work, and if this sounds like an advertisement, than consider it so.

With still some time left, we stopped at a cafe for some drinks. Thing to remember: in Asia they really do love sugar. If something COULD be sweet, consider that it will be. If something SHOULD be sweet, assume it will have a pound of sugar. I'm not a big fan of sugary in my liquids, but I guess one can get used to it. Going back Kris went to pick up her bag from the guesthouse and I went to get snacks for the road: some more cut fruits (mango and dragonfruit did us just fine) and a couple Chang beers since I finally found a place where they weren't a total ripoff. Our bus to KL by Unititi (please read it out loud a few times, ha ha ha) was already waiting and a few minutes past four we departed on a bus which wasn't supposed to exist.  Malaysian buses of the VIP type are really ultra comfortable. It's like traveling business class on the airplane. Seats three to a row, wide, reclining with footrests, blazing AC and blazing sentimental or funky Indian music. We took a break midway, a perfect opportunity to have a snack. Pau (same thing as bow in China) with curried beef and curried chicken hit the spot as a road trip food. Arriving at Puduraya station, we picked up our luggage (still intact) and went across the street to our Citin Hotel: close and not too expensive. Nothing special, but can't beat the convenience. Unfortunately there was a movie on at the hotel which meant we didn't get to leave the rest of the evening. Oh well, I'd already seen the Petronas Towers at night. Good night.

So who's this Cameron anyways?

Since we did our homework yesterday, we could sleep in a bit. After a quick shower, repacking into our small backpacks for two days and another breakfast at KL's worst hotel we went to Pudu Sentral station. At the luggage storage a daughter of the owner was already waiting for us. Amazing how people here will wait for your business even if it's only for 8 ringitt. Since the road was supposed to be long we got some snacks to get us through the ride. Cameron Highlands seems strong on the backpacker trail and the bus was mostly white. Lots of French here for some reason as well as the traditional mixture of Dutch, Germans and an occasional Australian. The road to Tanah Ratah was uneventful, with a short pit stop to drain the lizard and before we knew it we were there. Took just a bit over three hours, as opposed to the four and a half to five hours advertised. Word of advice: never count on the schedules being right around the equator. Once again it's that polychronic approach to time. When you expect to travel for a whole day, you end up at your destination in a few hours. When you expect to be somewhere in an hour, you might end up there in six. From the station it was a short walk to our guesthouse selected by Kris. I had a look at the same one a couple months ago and it seemed like a good choice. We were struck at the sheer number of guesthouses in Tanah Rata. Next time here, or for anyone visiting: don't bother booking a room. There are so many accommodations available it's ripe for picking. Our room wasn't ready, but our landlady turned out to be an extremely competent lady who spoke flawless English and was ready with a limitless supply of good information. She booked us on a half day trip to tea and strawberry plantations, a jungle trek and a butterfly farm and suggested a good restaurant for lunch. Leaving Kris' heavier bag behind we went to fill up on South Indian fare at Sri Brinchang. Krysia specifically asked for a mild curry, but it wasn't to be. Her tongue burned, though heavens know why: her curry was actually very mild. Only enough to kill half of Polish population. After lunch we checked in with our tour office next door and were picked up by Velu in his rather run down 4x4. Together with two traveling Yanks we went on a picture crazy bonanza at the tea plantation. The views are wonderful, but according to Velu, the tea is absolute shit. Instead of hand picking the leaves, they just trim them with machines together with the branches, stems and an occasional spider nest before roasting it all together. We purchased some to try at home. Whether it's true or not remains to be seen, but I have my doubts as to accuracy of the information given by our guide. Velu did not seem to be very fond of Chinese Malaysians or aboriginal Malays. This seems to be a trend here that even though population is quite mixed and seems to live in peace and harmony, they don't particularly like each other or speak fondly of each other. Chinese have snapped up a lot of the land and property and are the richest part of Malaysian population, Indians being the workhorses, and Malays just kind of keeping to themselves with their Islam and headscarves. Next came photo opportunities at a view tower on Mount Brinchang and the jungle trek. Well... a mini trek in reality. We were offered a choice of “hard” or “easy” trek and despite the majority opting for easy (Kris wanted the hard one, I said “whatever” and the Yanks were concerned about the state of their pants and wanted easy) Velu seemed to understand that we are to go on the hard trek. What it actually involved was about twenty minutes walking on top of 220 million year old pile of fossilized moss, tangled tree roots and top soil, which felt a little bit like walking on a hard mattress observing pitcher plants, smelling various tree leaves and bark, all of which can be found in an Indian curry dish, all while wearing silly hats made out of ferns and taking photos. Quite a lot of fun, but really, calling it hard would be a stretch in anyone's dictionary. Kris enjoyed it immensely and wanted to go on another trek tomorrow. The butterfly farm was next, which turned out to be a rather large hothouse willed with a variety of flora and thousands of colorful butterflies sitting, or sometimes even flying. Some nice exposition of snakes and a variety of bugs was also included. The final stop was a strawberry farm, which quite honestly sucked. The only interesting part about it is, since Cameron Highlands have a much cooler weather than the rest of Malaysia, organic strawberries are grown here. A very interesting farming system where bags of top soil are suspended above the ground on a wooded lattice with water irrigation system installed, and then strawberry bushes are planted directly inside. So what you're looking at is like something out of Space Odyssey 2001 film, strawberries growing in mid air. They are bloody expensive here, and quite honestly, without much flavor. When we got back to Tanah Rata we were presented with a dilemma. We had to leave tomorrow, because we've a flight to Bali on the 7^th. There is too much risk to take the morning bus at 8:30, because if it does take the five hours as advertised, we're going to miss our flight. But while looking for a late afternoon bus, everyone told us something different. “1:45 last bus”, “2 last bus”, “5:30 last bus, but it goes through Ipoh and it takes 6 hours” (meaning we'd miss picking up our luggage at the bus station). What about the 4 pm bus we were counting on? “Canceled”, “No go”, “Maybe”, “I don't know”. We asked about it at the bus station and the company rep said “No bus, because no customers”. Normally that would be enough information to go on, but taught by experience, I went online to check the online reservation system and the bus already had 5 tickets sold. So we decided to hang about and eat some dinner at Kumar, an Indian place right next to Brinchang. Once again, food was delicious, if on a spicy side for my wife. Although to be honest, they could not get the chutney or the mint sauce right. After dinner we went back to the bus station with my laptop to show the sales rep (who was different this time), that there was a bus at 4 pm tomorrow, and lo and behold the answer was “Of course there is. I already sold seven tickets for it. You want go?” Oh the humanity of trying to get pertinent information from the locals. I said it once and I'll say it again: if it's in their best interest, they will give you the information, if it's not they will either give you disinformation (very common in the Philippines) or simply play stupid and not give you any info. Moral of the story, check, check, check and then check once again.

Organic strawberry farming in Cameron Highlands.

On the way back to the guesthouse we picked up some more local fruit. I just want my hon to try everything Asia has to offer, and it has a lot of fruit to offer. Some starfruit, mangosteen and once again rambuttan (since she forgot how it tastes like) from a nice Chinese guy who actually washed and cut up the starfruit for us. We also found a place, a first place during our stay in Malaysia, with cheap beer. 5.50 RM for half a liter of Chang beer (my favorite brew from Thailand) was a steal, so picked up a couple of these as well as two half liter Camel beers. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??? 12% alcohol by volume in a can. This is not a joke. This beer was so strong, Kris couldn't drink it, saying it was too bitter. I actually enjoyed mine, but a can of this and a can of 6.5% Chang got me almost completely plastered by bed time.
Malaysia so far has turned to be a culinary heaven and diet hell. We've been eating a lot, because the food is delicious, spicy (for me if I want it) and inexpensive. A mixture of Indian and Chinese mostly, as well as a great selection of fruits. It's a bit tricky with Malaysian food, since it's Ramadan at the moment, so their food is usually not available at all during the day. But once we're back in Warsaw, I'm pretty sure the missus will want me to incorporate a lot more Asian flavors in my daily cooking. I think she's finally getting sold on more exotic flavors, and it makes me very happy. If she could only learn to enjoy seafood and sushi...