Road tripping

 

A break was needed in the middle of four days of watersports. A sharp departure was provided by a day long Bali road trip, which we arranged through the hotel with the driver who brought us from the airport, Jaga. On the first day we we approached on the beach by several other drivers/guides offering us similar services, but we figured we’ll go with someone we already know, with an added security that he was under contract from the hotel. The price 450,000 rupiah (about $50 at the time of writing) covered 10 hours of his time, all petrol, parking fees and all the entrances except for the most expensive Barong dance. For the money pinchers, you can bargain the price down on a beach to 300,000 but keep in mind that you’ll have to pay all the parking and entrance fees which will add up to about 100,000 extra for two people. And save our first full day, we also had the luxury of not having to wake up so early as he was to pick us up at 9 in the morning. So we lounged a bit before breakfast and after, and then we hit the road.

From the beginning it was to be an interesting trip, as it turned out that Jaga barely spoke English. Somehow we didn’t catch that fact on the way from the airport. We went to see a traditional Balinese Barong dance first. Saying dance doesn’t really do it justice. It’s actually a theatrical play with music, portraying a meeting between some government officials who are accosted in the forest by an evil spirit and then a great fight ensues. Quoting the missus “a surreal experience”. Despite a program written in really bad English, for the most part you have absolutely no bloody idea what is going on. Some strange creatures clicking their jaws, strange women doing stranger things with their eyes, man with their faces painted doing weird dancing, even a moment where it looked like a guy was masturbating a monkey with something coming out of… you get the jist. It turned out that it was the monkey’s tail, and the watery substance was supposed to be its blood. Surreal, yes. Funny, yes. Worth seeing: absolutely.

A traditional Balinese painting in the process of being made.
Claimed time to finish: 3 months.
Opening asking price 30 million rupees ($3300) for a finished piece.

From there things got a bit irritating, fortunately for a while. In a traditional Turkish/Egyptian style, we spent the next hour and a half being taken to see “traditional Balinese art” in the form of a: silver shop, a painting shop and a woodcarver shop. I appreciate the arts and all, but since we’re already paying the driver above the market rate for the day trip, he could’ve at least saved us the overpriced tourist traps. Silver shop: bloody hell! Upon entrance you are greeted with: “Special for you our friend. Today only, special discount, everything 80% off.” Sounds good right? Well… if not that a simple silver bangle at a normal price was $330!!! Even with a discount that was $66. Now, I’m not an expert on jewelry, but it seems a bit pricey considering there is actually no artwork that goes into making one. Nice intricate earrings… don’t even bother. The missus who is a great fan of jewelry just turned around on her heel and left. Same story repeated in the painting shop and a woodcarver shop. The thing is, there were hundreds of those around, but we got a feeling that we were taken to the priciest tourist ones. High prices including a hefty kickback to the driver. Sorry Bob. Such tricks don’t work with us.

We were slightly irritated at this point as we headed to the monkey forest located in Ubud, the cultural capital in Bali. Now, this would be a fun part for most people, except that I absolutely hate monkeys. Dirty, filthy, ugly creatures. Makes me want to put a baseball bat to their heads. Or eat fresh monkey brains, Singapore style. Still, a beautiful temple complex surrounded by a lush forest has a tendency to calm the nerves.

With moods still a bit dark, we insisted on break for lunch. Jaga insisted half the way that we eat later and an “all you can eat buffet” for a “very good price”. Trying to explain that we are trying to count the calories because we’re big was like talking to a wall. “Oh Bart, you big. You eat a lot. Good price for you. You eat more”. Looking daggers at him finally worked so we went to eat something locally. Babi gulling, a suckling pig, was recommended by him on the way from the airport, and that’s just what we went for. Yum! Any guilty conscience of eating a baby pig torn from its mother’s teet disappeared the moment I sank my teeth into it’s tender juicy flesh. Hey, I, a Homo Sapiens, am after all the apex predator, right?

Time was passing quickly, so we charged on. The next stop, rice terraces. Something that we meant to see in the Philippines, but didn’t due to awful typhoon floods. Amazing views which you can judge for yourselves below. We didn’t go trekking due to lack of time and energy, but given time do so.

    

Next stop, a coffee and cocoa plantation. A garden mostly filled with mandarin trees (which we got a fill of), with on occasional coffee and cocoa tree. Here finally Jaga showed off some of his guiding skills showing us a variety of fruits and plants and doing his best to explain their purpose. This is also a place where I stepped in horse shit, a natural fertilizer used by farms. And a place where we finally got to try really shitty coffee, Kopi Luwak. For those who missed the pun, Kopi Luwak, is world’s most expensive coffee, fetching prices of $400-$1000 per kilo. It is harvested from… civette shit. What the hell is a civette and why is coffee in its shit you might ask. Civettes live on coffee farms where they freely climb the trees and pick only the tastiest coffee fruit (the bean still inside). They digest the fruit, while the bean goes undigested through them. Undigested, but not unchanged. The gastric juices of the civette (tree cat by the way), soften the coffee bean, stripping it of much of its original bitterness and acidity. The excrement is then picked up by the farmers, washed with cold and hot water to leave the beans clean (I hope), then dried, roasted and voila! You got Kopi Luwak. For 50,000 rupees $6) you get to try a cup. And I must say: yum, earthy, musky, and all the other adjectives used by commercials. Still… I’m not sure I’m willing to pay $25 for a 60 gram bag enough for six coffees.

This has got to be the best picture that my budding photographer wife has ever taken of me. I just gotto Photoshop the coffee grinds from my nose. Thanks hon.

 

Enjoying Kopi Luwak

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time running out we headed to see the Bali volcano. Mist surrounding it gave it a surreal look, like something out of a Tolkien novel, but then again made it damn difficult to get our tourist shots in. We headed back with our final stop being a Hindu temple in Denpasar. A quiet time, all ceremonies over we checked out something that looked a bit like a market after closing. Plastic stalls, chairs and beach mats placed all around, with an occasional rice offerings thrown around. But hey, I got to play some musical instruments for free too.

We got back to our hotel around 7 PM. A day well spent, although we weren’t so certain of it at the beginning. Jaga turned out to be a nice guy as we initially took him for, if a bit samey like other hawkers on the street. Another meal at of favorite restaurant The Cameng closed out the night nicely.

Monkey business

I gotto repeat, Uncle Tan's is the place for food. We woke up to the smell of pancakes, fried eggs and toast. Pancakes Malaysian style with condensed milk and pineapple jam with a cup of coffee really hit the spot in the morning before you go see the apes. Our transfer picked us up to go to Sepilok Orangutan Sanctuary at 8 am. But in a style common to this part of the world, no one actually has any correct information and the place only opened at 9 am. We hung around the cafeteria with some drinks. I've already tried almost every drink available in this country: grass jelly (which I had before and am a big fan of), lychee, mango, water chestnut (nice), coconut, carbonated ice tea and winter melon, but Kris stuck to something safe, i.e.: Sprite.

Orangutan coming down for a feeding

We were hoarded in to watch a movie about the sanctuary before let in to watch the feeding at 10 am. Sepilok cares for orphaned orangutans, carefully nursing them to adulthood (which in case of orangutans takes 8 to 10 years) and then weening them off human love and releasing into the wild in the sanctuary. Only one orangutan came to be fed, swinging gracefully on lines suspended in the trees. But we were lucky enough to spot a next just above the walkway where a juvenile was taking a nap (apparently he just wasn't hungry). Seeing the crowd of gawking tourists, he decided to step outside for a photo session, yawning, flexing his muscles, then just hanging out, literally and metaphorically. Lovely animals with very intelligent faces and apparently much smarter than chimpanzees. Orangutans in the wild and captivity have been observed to create and use tools, and teach their young how to use them. These smart apes have a learning process very similar to ourselves.

Just hanging around

Yesterday Saidi, the manager of Uncle Tan's, suggested that if we only have one day we could go and see Labouk Bay, which is exactly what we did after the sanctuary. Half an hour transfer deposited us on the outskirts of mangrove forest right next to an oil palm plantation, where the owners saved a bit of the forest in order to preserve the Proboscis monkey. At half past ten we witnessed the first feeding with hordes of floppy nosed monkeys coming down their trees to enjoy a repast of bread, melon skins and Sabah vegetables. There were also some other monkeys around (perhaps someone can help me identify them by commenting below) and some interesting looking bird, which name I can't remember (once again, if you know, post it below). We finally got the chance to see the elusive Proboscis, our last outing ending in failure.

After the feeding came time for lunch. This was a low point of the day, because I came to realize that while in the Philippines we were simply cheated by everyone, here in Malaysia, the cheating is done in a state-sponsored way. For almost every attraction around there are two prices: the local price for Malaysian citizens, and the tourist price: three to five times higher. And I think it only hit me during lunch that paying almost a $100 for half a day trip for two people without lunch is kind of expensive. What upset me a bit more that Sepilok is mostly sponsored by the UK Orangutan Appeal, a charitable organization which collects thousands of pounds in order to support this place. So not only do foreigners sponsor this place and help save these great apes, they are then taken advantage of when visiting. It's sad to see that a Western organization condones this kind of practice. Very sad. For the next hour we just hung out in hammocks while waiting for a film showing about the Proboscis monkey. After the movie, which was done in a BBC-melodrama style (with soppy music while the monkeys were courting each other and making love, sweet love) we went to see the second feeding. The second platform is located much deeper in the forest, which results in a great number of monkeys being present. Not only there are many of them, they are also completely unafraid of the visitors, jumping around and completely ignoring us. Great photo opportunities, although we were a bit slow with Kris to get the “stupid tourist with a monkey” photo. My wife has a fantastic photo with a monkey's ass next to her face instead.

Honey, next time show a little reflex

We were dropped off at Uncle Tan just after lunch to my disappointment. Fortunately, there were still some fried bananas left (I finally got my fried banana!), which I had my fill of. A couple beers and rounds of pool finished off the evening, before we packed up and went to sleep.

Are there any apes in da house?

As far as early wake-ups we had a repeat of yesterday. The bus to Sepilok was at 7:30 and we wanted to at least give it an attempt to get our breakfast in at the earliest time. So after packing up and checking out, we were the first ones in the restaurant as the sun was rising. Once again, no fried banana, but today I couldn't care less. A coffee would do me just fine and then a jet dash to the bus station.

There are no jeepneys in Semporna. There are no rikshas and no trikes. And apparently there are no taxis. The reason why I wrote “apparently” will become apparent now: every car in Semporna is a make-shift taxi actually. As you're walking down the road, if the car honks at you, all you need to do is just turn around and wave at them and it becomes a taxi. The bus station wasn't far, but we just wanted a bit of creature comforts and for 5 RM this could be bought. Although I wasn't sure we were going to get there, when the door nearly fell out when the driver was opening it for Kris. Yet five minutes later we were getting tickets at the bus station.

To get to Sepilok by bus there are is one bus a day at 7:30. Oh true, the schedule says there is another one at 2 PM but it doesn't always run. Tickets cost 40 RM per person. As it was so early there were no stores open in order to buy any food so we hoped for a break in the journey. The road was long, slow and winding, leading us through acres and acres of oil palm plantations, coconut plantation and rainforests. Easy to float away into sleep. At a stop in Latam Datu, I had just enough time to jump out and buy us to jelly drinks: mango and lychee with coconut jelly floating in them, some dried bananas (the little girl selling it to me bewildered me with her smile and promptly gave me bad change, but this time I didn't mind too much) and some BBQ corn chips. Hopefully this food would keep us going until Sepilok. We ended up snoozing part of the ride so before I blinked it was Sepilok Junction.

Couple days ago I confirmed a room at Uncle Tan Guesthouse, which turned out to be just couple hundred meters down the road. While they were getting our room ready, we had our lunch. This place is an excellent bargain. For 100 RM ($33) you get a double room with a shared bathroom and all meals included. While the room is nothing to write home about, it does have a blazing AC (we got our room to 18 degrees in no time), the meals are just unbelievable. Local food with local flavors, lots of seafood, curries, Sabah Vegetable which I came to love so much (it's a kind of a fern which tastes like between asparagus, green beans and arugula. Served as a buffet, you can eat as much as you want, so I know we won't go hungry the next two days. Even wifey can find some meat on the menu without being bastardized by seafood flavors. We exchanged some money, settled in our room and upon a recommendation from the owner went to the Rainforests Discovery Center nearby.

Being tourists again

For a botany enthusiast, this place is heaven. So below I'm including some photos of interesting plants for those of you (especially you Dad) who are fans of flora to make your guesses as to what they are. For couple of hours we checked out their exhibition, the botanical garden and then walked on the canopy tour of the rainforests checking out different sights and sounds. We didn't see any monkeys this time, although we surely heard a lot of them, along with the constant smacking of geckos and nearly electronic sounds of the cicada. A rainforests is such a magical place after all.

Two hours later we were wiped out, ready to crash and definitely ready for a drink. Fortunately on the way back to the guesthouse we found a store. For me it's nothing new, but I was shocked to see that me and the missus finished off a two liter bottle of isotonic standing in front of the store. That's thirst I tell you. Back in the guesthouse we confirmed that we had seats on the bus going to Kota Kinabalu in two days, took an ice cold shower (actually... ice cold water here is a cool 25 degrees, so it's not so bad at all) and while hun was getting ready I grabbed couple games of pool with a fellow backpacker from Switzerland, then some ping pong with Kris. And they actually had some affordable beers in the guesthouse, so we finished one off quite happily.

Observing the crowd you could see that everyone was waiting for dinner, just hanging around the big common hall. A pretty standardized crowd of Western Europeans, Swiss, Germans and Dutch, in their 20s and 30s hanging around the world for anywhere from a month to half a year. Quite a few divers and as it usually goes on the backpacker circuit, a few of them hitting up the same places as we did, or will do. When the dinner was rolled out you could sense excitement in the air, everyone busily astir with plates and forks in their hands. No wonder: dinner wasn't a disappointment. Chicken wings done in a “super spicy” sauce according to Kris (mildly flavored for me, although eating two of the red hot chilli peppers almost brought tears to my eyes), pumpkin in coconut curry, Sabah Vegetable salad, Chinese eggplant in sauce and something that can only be described as a stir fried garden salad with scrambled eggs... weird. Watermelon for dessert. I had seconds... for the second time today. I need to go easy, or I'll start regaining what I've already lost on this trip, but with this tempting food, it will be very difficult.

Eight twenty and it's already pitch dark. Actually, it's been pitch dark for almost an hour and a half: the beauty or curse of equatorial locations. Almost a year round equinox. Internet isn't working so I've no idea when I'll upload this blog entry together with all the wonderful photos I have from today. I guess there is only one thing to do now: have on more beer and go get some shut eye.

So now here is your quiz dad (and others). Identify these plants:

      PHOTO 1: ____________________________

 

 

      PHOTO 2: ____________________________

 

      PHOTO 3: ____________________________

 

      PHOTO 4: ____________________________

 

      PHOTO 5: ____________________________

 

      PHOTO 6: ____________________________

 

      PHOTO 7: ____________________________

 

      PHOTO 8: ____________________________

 

 

Monkey see, monkey don't see

Our driver was waiting as promised at 5 in the morning. My wifey's really improved her getting up and getting ready ability when she is forced to do so. I guess maybe the occasional bitching that she got earlier on is working (okay... I'm asking for a beating here, I know honey). Kota Kinabalu airport is absolutely charming. An example of modern, open, industrial architecture mixed with Islamic and Malay elements just fits. After a quick check-in we had plenty of time to grab breakfast before the flight. There wasn't anything open yet, except for “billions served” restaurant. Just to report that Egg & Sausage McMuffin tastes the same in Malaysia as it does in Poland, the US or anywhere else around the world. I was thinking that perhaps due to halal rules the sausage wouldn't have pork, but instead lamb, beef or chicken, but it didn't. Standard pork patty.

Yesterday I booked our tickets to Tawau on Malaysian Airlines: a traditional carrier. Surprise, surprise: they had a sale. For 99 RM the tickets were only ten percent more expensive than the ten and a half hour bus, so it was no contest. We would save a whole day worth of traveling. We took off into the sky over Sabah's lush, green rainforests. After a short, peaceful hour-long flight we touched down on the eastern coast of Borneo.

A stressful situation for Kris happened right upon landing. While I went out looking for a bus to Semporna, she decided to nip out to the loo. Lo and behold, everyone left the airport and the door was closed behind her. Five minutes: no darling wife. Ten minutes: no tardy wife, and the first bus has already left. Fifteen minutes: no annoyingly late missus, and I'm having to convince the bus driver to stay and wait for us while I go look for her. What do I see? Krysia standing inside of the airport behind closed doors looking very unhappy. Finally the door was opened for her and we jumped on the bus. An hour later we were in Semporna.

In front of Dragon Inn

The driver dropped us off at the Dragon Inn, which interestingly enough was one of the places I considered staying in. Leaving Kris with our luggage I went to check out potential diving and accommodations and it turned out that there was nothing nicer and a better value than the hotel we were standing in front. A simple, wooden room with a bathroom, A/C and TV in a floating hotel which was emulating the exorbitantly priced resorts on Kapalai or Mabul. Charming, absolutely charming at only 77 RM (about $25 per night). Choice was made, now was time to look for diving options. I was dead set on Scuba Junkies, but read wonderful reviews about Big John Scuba which was located just next door. With all the Sipadan diving permits gone for the next few weeks, we might as well go with the convenient and well reviewed shop. Tomorrow we would have an intensive 3-dive day.

Semporna: a gateway to Mabul, Kapalai and Sipadan is an apt term, since you can't get to the islands from anywhere else. But if has this magical ring to it, as in Semporna itself is magical. Honestly, it isn't. The place is horribly smelly and dirty, although not so loud as we're used to in Asia. Our Dragon Inn is absolutely the nicest place not just in terms of accommodations, but also in terms of esthetics. The rest of the town is a muddy, smelly shithole. Not just that, it is filled with strolling, tired looking backpackers, usually just gathering in the same bar for an expensive drink and even more expensive international food.

Which started me thinking: I did the backpacker circuit for a couple of years on three continents so I understand the draw of it: inexpensive travel, meeting other backpackers, having someone to eat with, often someone to sleep with. Almost ten years later, I'm reexamining the whole idea. What's the point of staying in absolutely dingy accommodations with five other, often unwashed, roommates just to save a few bucks, when the next minute you're wasting that money on spaghetti or beans on toast... in Borneo. What's the point of going place to place and never even meeting a local? True, not that we've done so much socializing so far. Japan was great for both people, my friends and the atmosphere. But Philippines has discouraged us from talking to anyone around, lest we'd be scammed. Yet with my former backpacking experience, I definitely choose a mixture nowadays.

We found a place called Mabul Cafe for some food and drink. Not bad considering the price; Kris really enjoyed her lamb stir fry. With no night dives happening tonight (either due to bad weather or lack of interest) there was a question hanging in the air between us. What the hell do we do today? It's only 2PM, we still have a whole day ahead of us, but outside of going back to our hotel to sleep or eating ourselves to death, there is nothing to do. There are no tourist attractions or places to visit. There is no beach and worse: outside of this one backpacker place, there aren't even any bars here. You're really starting to feel the Islamic culture when (it's Ramadan now) alcohol costs a fortune and there aren't many places even selling it. What to do, what to do?

I remember seeing a website advertising the Borneo Proboscis Monkey tour. Mabul Cafe has free internet, so a quick check confirmed that the tour was on, and it was leaving everyday at 3:30. We had just enough time to catch it if I acted quickly. A booking place was just outside of the cafe and after quick negotiations for the driver to pick us up from our hotel instead of the meeting place (we had to go change into long pants first and time was short) we were on our way. In less than an hour we were heading out into the jungle. Located some distance from Semporna lies a center on a river which offers monkey and bird watching cruises. We were welcomed to the center with banana leaf wreaths, a fried banana (finally I get my fried banana!) and a glass of juice which tasted a bit like Fairy dishwashing liquid dissolved in soy milk. First we got a look at bunch of macaques fighting over pieces of bread being thrown to them while a pig-tailed macaque bull tried in vain to scare me by running up to me and baring its teeth. Come on monkey, bring it on homeboy. I got big teeth too.

The hunt for the Proboscis began. We were cruising on the river surrounded by mangroves looking for any signs of this endangered animal. Apparently they have a habit of coming down to the river right before the sunset to snack on river crabs. At any noise or a sign the captain would cut the engine and we'd float closer and into the mangrove roots. Yet no monkeys would be seen up close with the exception of a few macaques looking at us from the trees. Despite the obvious failure of the main objective, the cruise was absolutely wonderful. To experience the rainforests up close and personal, this must be a bit how cruising the Amazon or Orinoco looks like. Bird calls, monkey calls, fish bubbling underneath the surface. Aah... heaven. Upon our return we were treated to a barbeque dinner, or rather I was treated to dinner and a half (read: shrimp, fish and squid which Krysia wouldn't touch). We forwent the glass of soapy juice this time and opted for sodas instead.

A cultural note. Our guide was a Muslim. During Ramadan, which we are in the middle of, they are forbidden from eating, drinking or even smoking between sunrise and sunset. What was a bit funny that Kris didn't know that the most devout Muslims don't even swallow saliva, but instead spit. Wife thought our guide was a disgusting old man spitting left and right, when in fact he just had a very strong will. At 18:24 sharp the spitting stopped, he grabbed a bottle of water and a cigarette and with a big grin on his face lit up and took a swig.

We returned to the hotel at around 8 by which time we were quite tired and bug-bitten. It was time for a shower and bed to get a good night sleep before diving.